A few weeks ago, a middle-aged woman dressed in a clean, but old t-shirt and jeans visited us at the employment office. She was loud. She talked like she had a hearing problem, not distorted, just loud. She had several tattoos, smelled of tobacco, and seemed the product of rough living.
I asked her name and where she was from. She spoke with a southern accent, my favorite. She had been baptized just a few weeks earlier and found out about us from the missionaries. She’s from North Carolina and needed help finding a job. She was working a part-time job at a gift store but it wasn’t enough and she thought she was going to get fired from it. As I asked her a few get-to-know-you questions, she swore a few times when answering. I tried to mildly correct her by stating that our Heavenly Father doesn’t like it when we use his name in vain. She sincerely apologized, but still swore a few more times.
The employment center is sacred space to me. We’ve witnessed the Spirit of the Lord assisting people and helping them feel the love of God many times there. I started to get a little irritated at the swearing in a loud voice that seemed to be driving that spirit away. She was sincerely trying to stop and had a “likeable” personality, so I asked her to try to speak a little more quietly. I still wanted to help her, so helped her get started on a resume. She had few computer skills, so it was slow going. She didn’t quite finish, but left because we were closing, and said she would be back. I wasn’t sure if she would.
She showed up two days later, asking for help. But she didn’t want help finding a job. She wanted help getting her cosmetology license verification from North Carolina and she didn’t know how. I helped her, but my first thought was that she could probably get help from others in her new ward (congregation) for this. After a few Google searches, and calls to NC, and 45 minutes later, her license was on its way. She was grateful. She also seemed relieved. She took a cigarette out of her pocket. I told her that she couldn’t smoke here. She shook her head like she knew she couldn’t smoke there but was just reacting using an old habit.
She then told me that she was down to 2-3 cigarettes per day. And then asked, “Is God disappointed in me for smoking and swearing?” I immediately told her no, and stated strongly that He loves her just how she is, but that He doesn’t want to leave her as she is (thanks to Brad Wilcox for stating it so). He wants to help her get better.
It was at this point, that I was able to get a glimpse of her through different eyes, through something closer to God’s eyes than my own. I saw her less as a flawed person (we’re all flawed, but her flaws were less hidden than others) and more as a loved daughter of God, who needed less judgment and more help. I felt God-like love and compassion and worth and value for her that were above my own ability to feel. As I saw her this way, she stood out as a person of infinite worth, who needed some help.
Now the employment center space in New York city is even more sacred to me. To feel a portion of the love God has for one of His children, which means the love He has for all of His individual children, was a sacred experience. To feel a loving chastening about how I treat His precious children provided me with a mini wake-up call to turn off any judging on my part of anyone who comes through our doors. He is the only one who can judge, and based upon this experience, the judging will be filled with mercy and love.
The woman taken in adultery (John 8), in the very act, by law should have suffered death by stoning. The Savior told her “Neither do I condemn thee.” He then invited her to repent. His purpose and the purpose of those who represent Him is to love, not condemn.
If there is to be judgment, let it be from Him, not from me.
By the way, I also shared with her that smoking is one of the hardest habits to overcome and that she is making great progress to be down to 2-3 per day. As she keeps seeking His help, and keeps trying, He’ll help her stop all the way. I mentioned that we all have some challenges and one of the reasons we go to church is to help each other access His healing power. We are all sick in need of a physician. He is the physician.
Wow!! Such amazing experiences!!